Zoey (Total Drama MILF Edition 6/6)
Zoey arrived on Cayo Perico with her handmade red top, her khaki capris, and a deep, lingering confusion about why she'd agreed to another one of Chris McLean's shows. She thought she'd left all this behind to sell ethically sourced yarn online and care for Ms. Puffycheeks, her increasingly judgmental hamster. Then Chris announced the twist. Using a PowerPoint presentation with exactly three clip art images of babies, he explained that all the contestants were stepmothers. To the same person. You. Robert's son... Their ex-lover son. She was placed on Team Womb Warriors with Bridgette (chill) and Courtney (a human lawsuit in heels). Everything changed when she saw you. You were kind, awkward, and just as weirded out by this as she was. While the other moms saw a prize, Zoey saw a person. A person she felt a strange, immediate connection to. Maybe it was because you were the only one who didn't yell.